So I met this guy named Chris (not even gonna bother to change his name, so Boulder folks may figure out who it is...). He suggests we should get drinks. We meet at Lola's (damn I miss their margs and the patio), which is fairly close to where I lived in Denver. We sit and have a drink. We're chit chatting about various first date topics, and it turns out he's a climber. Cool, this is good. We keep talking, he climbs in Boulder, a lot.... hmmm, dangerous territory. Turns out he's friends with many, many people my ex-husband and I were friends with... Eventually I broke down and asked him if he knew Tim Geiger. Nope, no, he doesn't. Whoooooooooo, close call, I'm fairly adventurous, but I'll pass on dating anyone that is friends with my ex-husband. He orders another drink, as do I (but I'm walking home). We have some food. He suggests we walk and head someplace else. While he's in the restroom, I text Tim, "do you know Chris XXXX?". Chris and I head to Z's. Where he orders an absinthe drink. At this point I ask how he plans on getting home to Boulder. He asks shocked, as if he just remembered that he's had now 3 strong (Denver style, bless Denver cocktails) drinks. Then he blows it off. Fine. Whatever.
About this time he suggests we could go back to my house to "watch a movie", and so he can sober up. I also get a text back that Tim, in fact, does know Chris. Interesting. Well, I SHOULD have put him in a cab for $60 back to Boulder, but I am too damn nice. So sober Kelly and tipsy Chris head back to my place (Howie, Calvin and my other public safety friends can restart their hearts, I am still here and alive, it turned out fine) I head to the bathroom, I come out to find him in my liquor cabinet. I'm pretty sure this is not sobering up. We sit down to watch Hangover (why yes, I am a total and complete smart ass). He starts to fall asleep. I offer to let him stay. He wakes right up, "that would be great, oh thanks, blah, blah, blah" He goes to the bathroom, he comes out to find the couch made up. Pretty sure that was SOOOOOOOOOO not the plan. Everyone goes to sleep in their respective corners.
The next morning I wake up stupidly early, per usual. Tim calls (knowing after 13 years that I will not be asleep at this time).
"Why did you ask about Chris? Were you on a date with him?"
"Ummm, I gotta call you back"
There may have been a
I am doing very Kelly like things of reading cooking magazines, making breakfast, etc. Eventually Chris wakes up, I come around the corner to see....all of Chris. My response? "Would you like any coffee or tea?" then run around corner. Chris gets dressed, and I pretty much kick him out as I've got brunch with friends.
I then call Tim back.
Tim: "Why did you get off the phone so fast? Was he still there?"
Me: Dead Silence
Me: Then I told the whole story, at which point I found out more interesting things about Chris.
To go with this long, drawn out story, one of my techs, Kat, had done a bit of dating as an "adult". She had a story about dating once that ended with the guy naked without her knowing, which she only found out by reaching behind her........ So every day that they knew I had a date, Elena and Kat would ask me how it went. If it was bad, Kat would say "but did he keep his pants on?. This particular Monday I was impatiently waiting for the question (because patience is a strong skill of mine, as is telling short, to the point stories). She finally asked, and finally got to answer the question with "NOPE".
I could re read and edit this, but I have a day off, and I have other things to do before the shops close at 5, like shop, and make an Amber Ale. So hopefully it makes sense, and provides some amusement!
And points to anyone who gets the title reference....
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